the 6th CNY without you,dad

Today I feel very mellow, Even though tomorrow is Chinese New Year (CNY). This moment makes me miss my daddy even more. This is the sixth CNY since He’s gone.

I still remember our last CNY at 2005. Two or three weeks before CNY, daddy was hospitalized, and that’s the time when the doctor diagnosed he got small cell carcinoma or we known as lungs cancer. When we found out dad’s disease, it was already late. The cancer was already in last stadium (IV). We didn’t tell daddy about his disease at that time.. He got home after being hospitalized for + 1 week. My father’s siblings asked us to send him to Taiwan, with many struggles we agreed to do it, even we realized maybe we couldn’t see daddy back to Indonesia anymore. We arranged the departure after CNY.

In CNY morning, from what I remembered, daddy would sit down in the living room, waiting for his children “pai nien” with him. But at that year, I woke up late, when I woke up, daddy wasn’t in the living room, I searched for him, and found him went around the house. And like a little kid, I followed him. His stares were different, I can’t describe it, but it makes me sad. The night before the CNY, we have family dinner in daddy’s little brother’s house, because my granny was living there. That night was the first and last time I took daddy’s pict with my phone. Few days after the CNY, we sent daddy to the airport to go to Taiwan. And that was the last time I see him alive.

Since that time I never really anxious wait for CNY, because it reminds me about my dad. Even in fact I still waiting for the “hong bao”….Xp..

Miss you so much dad…I miss your scolding, I miss “chui poy” your back, I miss your overprotective love..TT…I still remember, when nobody support me to chase my dreams, you are the one who told me, “just try!”, you never promise me any reward, but if I achieve something you’ll give me reward silently. Whoaaaaa…How much I miss those time…Love you dad..Saranghaeyo..Chan lak kun…Chan ja kid thoung kun…

MY new journey part 2

Here I am as a jobless in office..^^.. Which means I have time to write my blog again ..X)…

Have I told you what I like the most from my office? This office has “Teng Go” culture ..^^..It means 5 PM TENG we can GO home. No one push us to work overtime, except it’s really urgent. If my boss gave me a work around 4.30 PM, she would say do it tomorrow. Until this time I already work overtime for 5 days, but most of it, I did my overtime outside the office to monitor photo shoot or doing marketing research. During my overtime, there’s always a driver with company’s car waiting for me. X)…

Hmm.. Back to my journey. Two weeks after I worked here, I realized that my boss was pregnant for 5 months. Hmm.. Her pregnancy is so small, that’s why I and many people in the office didn’t realize it’s already 5 months. My brain worked hard at that time, and become panic. I need to push myself learn as fast as I can, so when she take maternity leave I can do my work well. But everything didn’t work as I thought.

The fact is, my boss already resigned before I worked there. She only held on for teaching me or anybody else who would take over her job. In 12^th June, 2 weeks before her last day working there, she informed me, that she only work until the end of June. Felt like a lightning struck upon my head. “That’s why she push me to learn fast”, “that’s why I must attend every meeting and even managers’ meeting” She told me the real reason why she resigned, and it made me understand why she urge me to study master degree as soon as possible. All my curiosity has been answered after she informed me the “news”

Two weeks after her notice became so pressuring for me. Feels like a ton of burden have been put on my shoulders – okay, a li’l bit hyperbolic-..But really…. for someone who used to work in the lab with all the invincible thingy (DNA, Microbes, etc), make a decision to learn about marketing, still a newbie,  and suddenly got a responsibility to take over someone else’s job – a manager job- how can I stay calm? I don’t have enough confident to do it, I don’t even understand about TARPS, CPRP or every details about media placement. I still can act calm or cool but deep down in my heart, I was PANIC…Thank God the director who is my new boss isn’t as hard as I thought and thank God he always back me up until now..X)

I learned a lot in these two months, and I’m sure I will learn many things few months ahead. These are some things that I’ve learned lately:

1. as a worker, when the boss ask you to do something, you can ask him/her if you still don’t understand. Make sure you and your boss have the same perception about the objective. Even you don’t understand and make a mistake you couldn’t say, “Please understand me, I’m a bachelor of science. I never ever learned these things. How could I know it worked like this..”.. You’ll be fired very soon I think. What the boss knows is they already paid you to work for him/her. Luckily my ex-boss now my background and she patiently taught me.

2. There were always someone act arrogantly because he/she is older than you even in the warmest environment.

3. As a fresh graduate, many people would underestimate you. Just stand up, walk or act confidently.^^.. My X-boss’ tips: Act older than your age, so that silly agencies won’t underestimate you because you’re still young.”.. I’m still learning to do it actually.

4. Company politics….Haven’t got used to it, but I think the politics in here isn’t as dirty as my late office because this is a family company.

Well that’s it about my new journey….Just wanna say thanks to my x-boss for her faith in me, and apologize me if I made mistakes within those 2 months. Even only two months working with you, I respect and will never forget you. You’re a great tutor..^^..

My new Journey part 1

Well.. It’s such a long time I haven’t maintained my blog.

Right now I’m going to write my new journey in my new office. I’ve been working here for 2 months actually. That’s the reason why I haven’t updated my blog.. My new office is a family company that has many groups which handle different products. Actually I’ve refused a position from one of their group last year because of bad rumors about this company. And this year, after resigned from my latest company, here I am, stuck in this company. My sentence sounds sarcastic, doesn’t it? Actually I agreed to work here because I like my boss who has interviewed me before. She’s such a blunt person and what I like the most, she was very kindhearted to teach me many things. Well I’m still new in this marketing field. So there are many things I need to learn.

My boss was really patient and tolerant. When I made a mistake she laughed with me. She taught me about marketing, especially about outdoor advertising and TV commercials. She told me many things about this company. As a boss, she’s quite weird, because she told me to resign as soon as possible, she urged me to chase master degree in marketing or commerce, and she even promoted her university.. She told me to absorb every little thing, learn as much as I can. She always encouraged me to study more. She used to say, I’m smart and a fast learner (it flattered me) – but when I’m panic, I used to ruin my own work (Yeah.. She knows me quite well just in few days…Hahaha). At that time I felt a little bit weird, because she told me such thing like that. In my mind, I thought my boss is unique

Since the day I worked there, my boss trusted me with many things. She always told me, “You must know every details of what I do or this department does, so if anybody asks you, you know as much as I know.” Okay, I felt like her personal assistant, I should attend almost every meeting that she attended. “Watch and learn” was her favorite sentence at that time. I didn’t even suspect that there was a hidden agenda at that time.

I’ll tell you what’s the hidden agenda were in the next blog. Right now I need to back to work again..X)..

-To be continue-

Let’s Knock Him Down!

Just read a blog from Kompas. Even I disagree with his vision, but I like the way he write, because he wrote some references and using factual data. I won’t write about him actually, I’ll write about a guy whom commented on that blog. A silly, fanatic, and arrogant guy. Kinda hate a guy like this one. He wrote like he knows everything, the best, and he is the most righteous person, and the thing that I hate most is he doesn’t respect woman.

The first thing he mentioned about prostitution and liquor restriction, and also gambling. Okay, I agree with the prostitution and gambling thing, but the way he wrote, made me think either he’s a jerk who used those services too or he’s too nerd, he wants but have no money to do it..^^..I don’t know why, this thing just come to my mind. And about the liquor, he said, even in small amount it ruins human’s cognitive skill and damages human’s soul. Has he ever read news or articles? Liquor is one of fermentation drink that if we drink it with a right amount it can give us advantages, such as red wine can give benefit to our heart health. And if you prohibit any kind of liquor in this country, it means you kill some cultures, because like tuak from Batak or sake from Japan is a liquor too and part of their culture. Well, you angry when our culture were claimed by other country, but try to kill your own culture…Fyuh..Weirdo..

And then he mention about women…This is the part that I hate most. He said to decrease criminal rate especially in raping, women must find a job that can make her go home before night, and women must use a close cloth. In his sight, women give him too many temptations..^^..Someone asked him, how if the woman is a widow and she only can work at night, and he answered that he doesn’t want to know how, but the woman must work at daytime, because there still many men outside to work at midnight. He said like he’s a true gentleman. Okay, if that’s the case, let’s go to Transjakarta bus or public bus. When a pregnant woman, or grandpas or grandmas come in to the bus, who would give them their seats first? From my experiences, it’s a girl whom often aware to give their seats. I scarcely saw a guy would get up from their seat. A gentleman is really rare to find, but an arrogant like this guy really need to be knock down! Now about the costume. It is better if a woman doesn’t expose their body too much, but is it really women’s fault that so many raped case in the world? Why we don’t think that the men are responsible too in this case? And he was too arrogant to admit it. And the other case is about man can get marry to more than one wives in few conditions. Haish..It’s make my emotion rise up..Hey, who do you think you are? Can you respect woman? If a guy wants to be the one for his women, he must be loyal to his woman too. What you want other to do upon you, you must do it first. Is it right? If you have more than one wives, so it’s ok for your wives to have another husband right? Well woman and man are equal. God made women and men suit to each other, no one is more superior to other. At Eph 5:22-33, God gives HIS words not only for wife but also for husband, the wife must respect his husband and husband need to love his wife like he loves himself. Hope so he can treat his wife respectful.

End of word, I hope I don’t meet a guy like this or I’ll really knock him down..

My Unforgettable Silly Memory

My unforgettable silly memory

This silly accident was taking place at Suvarnabhumi and Changi International Airport. It occurred at 26^th May 2009. This story is about my journey (Cinkiez) with my friends ( “Nyonyah”, “Tante”, “Garfield”, “Chix”, and”MIP” as their nicknames) when we were going home from Thailand after 3 months internship at BIOTEC. Three months there was like a dream, the longest dream we ever had. It was fun, not only because we learned many things about lab and their culture, but also because we walked much and shopped much..^^..Garfield usually said it as 100 000 step or more for having fun, and the funny thing was she said it with her trademark style, kind of hyperbole, but funny. Well, when I said, we shopped much; I think you can imagine there will be many luggages right? Hahaha..^^..Yeah..Let me describe our luggages. Each of us brought one big luggage, one small luggage, and one plastic bag, also one handbag , but Nyonya brought  one big luggage, two small luggages, and two handbags. Can you imagine it? this 2 pics show our belongings..^^

Okay the Journey started at 25^th May 2009, we tried to put all of our belongings into the luggages, tried to make all things fit and not overweight..The situation was confusing, we moved from one room into another to hand over the scale. It’s really a catastrophe bringing many luggages and transit at other country without being able to go anywhere. So on, at 6 A.M in the next day, the driver picked us up, and he helped us to bring our luggages..I think he was amazed with the amount of our luggage..X). We arrived at the Suvarnabhumi International Airport. The first accident occured at travellator. Because of the size of the travellator, and the  amount of our belongings,we walked in line, Tante passed the travellator successfully, and then Nyonya with her belongings stuck in the travellator, behind her was Garfield and Me. I shouted, Garfield tried to jump, ok, both of us were survive from crash at that time, but Chix who was blocked by me, can’t see what’s happening in front of her and suddenly she and her belongings crashed with Nyonya, luckily MIP still walk far behind. That’s the first accident at Suvarnabhumi.

The first  Luggage checking. Because I put my laptop inside the luggage, I need to opened it..And what embarrassed me is, I put my bolster there. A foreigner behind my back laughed when he saw it..Ok, at least I didn’t get any trouble. Tante who opened her luggage was caught with many creams in her luggage. Well actually it’s just a little, but the container is bigger than 200 ml, so the officer threw her creams. It also happened to Nyonya. That’s it from our journey at Suvarnabhumi. After the incidents of cream disposal, we had a really bad mood.

We arrived at Changi around 11 A.M. We took our luggages. My luggages bore down upon my feet for several times..T.T..But it’s still ok, until we tried to find a place to leave our baggage so we could meet our friends in Singapore. It located at 2^nd basement. But it cost quite much, so we agreed to stay at Changi. I made an appointment with my friend whom is stewardess of SQ to meet at 5 P.M. And then we walked around Changi for killing time. And the second accident happened after we left the 2^nd basement.  We walked in line again, with this arrangement: Tante, MIP, Cinkiez, Nyonya, Chix, and Garfield. We were going up, and suddenly Chix lost her power to push her trolley, and then she stucked again in the travellator, Garfield who was behind her, can’t avoid the crash, and Chix was stuck between her trolley and Garfield’s. That’s the second accident. The officer who saw this incident run towards us from upstairs, She shouted “ALAMAK!”. She thought Garfield was the one whom responsible for this incident, but Garfield told her to help Chix. Ok, it happened behind my back. When Chix and Garfield stuck in the first travellator, Tante, MIP, and Cinkiez already at the second travellator, we’re going up. After saw the officer helped Chix we felt relief, but not for a long time. Suddenly tante stucked too. Her trolley can’t move on. She panicked, MIP who didn’t expect it, kept moving forward, and then her luggages hit Tante’s..MIP’s small luggages were falling from the trolley, and then she jumped to lift her luggage, but the small ones were falling too. So it means all her belongings except her plastic bag were scattered at the travellator. And the next, I was coming, unable to put my trolley on the brakes, I hit MIP’s trolley. Nyonya who was behind me only tried to move back little by little. At the same time, the officer just helped Chix, and when she saw the same accident also happened at the upper ground, She shouted, “SH*T!!”, and she run to us, she also jumped to accelerate her movement and then she stopped the travellator (So funny when I remember it), In front of Tante, there was a tourist too, when the accident happened, he threw his bag and belongings, and tried to help us. Wew…It’s an embarrassing moment.

While waiting for my friend, we were worried about our hand carry. All of those hand carries were overweight. We hoped that my friend could comfort us, but at that time, she was surprised too, and then she said that we should pay for our luggages..hahaha..It didn’t comfort us, but made us more panic..^^.. And then we went to our gate, and passing the second luggages check. This time my two body creams were threw by the officers, because I forgot to put it back into my big luggage. And then because our hand carries were too big to put in the cabin, our hand carries were moved into baggage and my laptop was still inside there. I was really angry at that time, because they didn’t tell us about that until we sit in the cabin. Fyuh..And the last incident was happened when we arrived at Soekarno Hatta International Airport. We were going down using escalator, except for Chix, She used the stair. She just walked down for five-six step and then she suddenly air walked to the ground. Maybe she slipped, luckily there were many people down there, so they caught chix before she arrived with her head first. Wew.. I and Garfield shouted because we still stucked in escalator. After that we went home and that’s the end of our journey..^^.

Messages from the story:

1. Don’t shop too much
2. Don’t go travelling with too many luggages. It’s not fun, believe me!X)
3. Well, if you don’t like the first lesson, just bring a few clothes in a big big luggages to go to Thailand, so you can shopping without thinking how to bring it back to your homeland..hahaha..^^

Reasons why I hate being stuck as a jobless

I am a youngest in my family, just being graduated as Bachelor of science at 19^th February 2009, luckily I got an internship program in Thailand for 3 months until 25^th May, that’s mean right now I’ve been officially jobless for three months, and I really hate stuck in this situation. Why?

1. I have a really good brother, who has dropped out from his university to take care daddy’s business so my family can survive after daddy’s death. Yeah, who wouldn’t say that he is a hero for my family? And honestly I hate to depend on him. I hate to ask money from him after being graduated, because it makes me like a parasite. I hate when he said something that indicate I don’t strive to get a job, I hate when he judge me as a spoiled little brat who is very selfish. I really hate it!! That’s why I really want to get out from this house ASAP.
2. I have a mom whom very supportive. Who always says I can’t make it, I can’t chase my dream. Yeah I always try to think is her way to support me. Maybe it’s her way to encourage me..But honestly it makes me lost my confidence some time. Like yesterday when i told her I want to try finding a scholarship, ask her permission, and then she said something that I don’t need dreaming like that, just finding a job is enough. Honestly it breaks my heart; I remembered all the times she tried to makes me down. My dreams is my way to forget the reality that makes me to keep moving on, to strive…I know my mom doesn’t want me to get hurt, but  I want to try it even I’ll fall and get hurt.
3. I have a great sister who always encourage me, strengthen me. But when I see her face troubled with her family, and then she worried about me. I hate being a burden for her, for my brother, and also my mom. I really want to be capable, to be someone they can depend on, not someone whom troubled them so much.
4. I hate depending on others. I know that people can’t live alone, and we need each other to strengthen us. But I hate being obliged to someone. I feel kinda useless. I hate if the one whom I obliged to, try to remind me about his/her kindness, makes me feel that he/she is so superior, and I’m nothing.
5. I hate that I can’t do whatever I want, I can’t chase my dream when I’m still depending on my brother’s, financially and morally. I hate to tell them what I was working on, because I hate to hear any unsupportive word from them.

When anybody said it’s really nice being you, you are a jobless, you do what you want to do, you can sleep as long as you want, you can go wherever you want to go, ok, let’s change position with me..I really hate being jobless..